Life's a trip, why not now?

Hey y’all, I’m back and explaining my story for everyone to be heard. So over the last few months, I developed schizophrenia and now I have come back to reality. Reality is hard thing to describe once you had a schizophrenic episode, because the two seems so real, that it’s hard to decipher which one’s real or not real. I’ve come to realize that I’m not the center of the world, and if I start thinking that way, it only leads to self-destruction to myself, and those around me. One concept that I’ve realized is that life goes on, people miss you, but they always end up surviving albeit flourish whether you’re there or your not. It’s a sad truth, but we’re just one cog in a machine, if that cog is missing we drop a little bit, but our amazing human minds find a way around that mess and continue to turn the wheels. So, take it easy on yourself, no pressure, we’re all beings just as yourself. No greater, no worse, neither rich, nor poor, all the same in the circle of life. Human beings, that’s what they call us, we are all individuals and we combine to form one unit, the human race. Not to say we’re any greater than the animals around us, but don’t think of yourself too highly or else you’ll just end up disappointing yourself. We live and act accordingly to our own rules and morals, where we get these morals from, God knows??? But just live your life to its all, try not to worry yourself because we all struggle from the same problems?? Life is what you make of it, so always do your best, give it your all, give your heart, your 100% to everything that you do, so you’ll live with no regrets, and you’ll be able to realize the best qualities in yourself, and the best quality in others as well. All I can say, is good day, good morning, and smell the breeze in the air, you’re in for one helluva ride called life.

The past is past

When life becomes premature. Sometimes very forced. You have to remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel. You have to hold out faith that you’ll get better and return to the great self that you are.

I didn’t mean to cry on memorial glade, I meant to be there for my friends, to help those who I’ve hurt, to move on from the past. I believe I achieved my goals and learned more through my journey, but I’m ready to move on from the past, and find my place in the world in an unknown place we call the future.

Don’t let the past hold you back, instead, let the past help you achieve even greater things because you can learn from it and not fall into the same traps as you did before. Take time to remember those who’ve helped you, take time to remember those who’ve hurt you, and be at peace with yourself knowing that all these experiences made you…you.

You are the source of all your problems and the source of all your happiness

You are the source of all your problems, and you are the source of all your happiness. You create your own reality, and other people are just representations in it. This world is made for no one in particular, so if you take charge of your life, you also take charge of the world you live in. 

Happy

You know how people say they just want to be happy. Then, just be happy, choose to be happy, it’s not something that’s outside of you, rather its inside us all.

Life ain't a box of chocolates, but that's the beauty of it

Life ain’t a box of chocolates. It kicks your ass around, makes you feel like shit, brings you back down to earth, but that’s the beauty of life. Because our life is constantly being dragged down by our own intuitive thoughts, we have to focus on appreciating the journey of living rather than basking in the glory of our accomplishments. I do NOT define success as a continual set of stepping stones that we have to climb over to reach our final destination. Stop thinking in terms of “I need this [GPA, friends, money, material wealth] in order to be [happy, successful, well-liked]. Anything that is conditional is never everlasting. Such as love, that’s the only thing that holds true time and time again. Love from friends, love from your loved ones, love from family, and love from god. That’s the only thing that is meaningful in our very existence.

Life is hard, but that doesn't mean it's not worth living.

People are curious beings

People are curious beings, let them be. Share your life with them, and in return they will share their life to you as well.

In Berkeley, sometimes this innate curiosity turns into skepticism, and later full-blown in-group/out-group mentality. The saying “curiosity killed the cat” only applies to those who are NOT open to change, to those who are NOT open to new ideas, and people. But be respectful of others, be independent in your own thinking, and most of all, don’t expect anything out of life, just take what comes, and enjoy it for what it is.

Valentine's Day

All this hate about single’s awareness day pisses me off. Valentines day is a commercialized holiday like every holiday in the world. Restaurants and boutiques jack up their prices of roses/flowers/meals because they want to make a big buck off a societal ascribed appreciation day. Instead of hating Valentines day for making people feel left out, why not use this day as motivation; and in my case, motivation to work up the courage to ask a friend out on a date when you both know you’ll be suffering in your own misery if otherwise. Why not use life’s challenges as a tool, to make yourself better, make yourself into the person you want to be. It sucks being left out during the holidays, but that doesn’t have to be the case. We all have the power to change our life situation, it’s up to us whether we choose to act and correct our inadequacies, or we can just continue to bitch as moan about the unfair hand fate has dealt us. Sometimes you have to take fate into your own hands by doing the unconventional, and let an even higher power sort out your life. 

Leadership

Being a leader is not about controlling others (by any means necessary such as guilt tripping, dominating, pulling puppet strings) and telling them what to do, rather it’s just the opposite. It’s about following you own passions regardless of what’s around you, and allowing other people to pursue their own passions. The best leaders are the ones who don’t micromanage, instead, they are the ones who allow people to explore their own creativity, and support them when they discover something great. That said, in order to be a leader, you must first start by leading your own life. Take control of your life, your life situation, how you act, and the people you let into your inner circle. Clean up yourself, and take responsibility of yourself, your actions, and the consequences that come with your actions. Remember to be who you want to be, but stay true to yourself. 

Being respectful and speaking you mind

Sometimes these two ideas become dichotomous because one cannot help but interrupt others in order to get your point across. It’s best to speak up when you have something to say because people NEED to hear what you have to say. Fuck the social norms and rules of discussion, as long you’re not maliciously hurting others, say what’s on your mind. Your ideas ARE amazing and WORTH HEARING. Do NOT be intimidated by others because they’re just as scared as you.

I’ve been hurt for a long time with other people ignoring my thoughts. I’ve internalized that hurt believing that my thoughts were not worthwhile being heard by everyone. But this blog has given me hope, people have read my blog and come away with positive comments about my thoughts. Thank you, you have given me the self-assurance that MY thoughts are worth voicing.

 ALL of our thoughts are worth hearing, it’s a question of whether we take the time to start listening. Speak from your heart, then more people are willing to listen. You only NEED to say what’s important, but that’s not to say that’s all there IS to say.

Remember to be yourself, even when we live in a world where people are constantly striving to anything BUT themselves. Stay true, stay the course, you’ll eventually find your way.

Happy

How can you be happy? Just appreciate the small things in life. Positive psychology practices daily saying three things you appreciate about your life, and three things you appreciate about your day. Keep doing these and see what you find

When you’re feeling sad, change the way you look at things. Don’t dwell on your situation, just think in a broader perspective: shit’s gonna be all good J

Disapointment

Life is never what you expect, it just depends on how you bounce back from dreams to reality. I believed that my dreams would come true, but reality and dreams are two separate entities. No matter how hard you fight, other make their own decisions, you must accept that. Even though you believe that you know what’s best, people make their own decisions and you have to live with that and be at peace with the outcome. Don’t get bogged down by life’s disappointments, life is full of them, so all you can do for the betterment of yourself is to stay the course, keep believing what’s true to you and you’ll find solace in your actions as well as others. Don’t try to control others because that’ll only lead to destruction in the end. Life is real, people are real, as well as your decisions. Make the best choices for you.

You are the owner of your life

When you feel miserable because of the people around you, it’s because YOU let them affect you. You let their hate, and their negativity drag you down. Many times people don’t do what you expect them to do, they don’t always do what’s right, but their actions should NOT be the sole dictator of your happiness. People can be either positive or negative to your life, it’s YOU who must decide which one they are, and its up to you to decide which one will have an impact on your life. You have to block out people’s negativity, and strive to stay true to yourself. Life does not explain your situation rather it conveys EVERYONE’s life, the term YOUR LIFE better describes who you are. 

In order to understand humans, you have to understand yourself. 

Take control of your life. I want to be surrounded by people; its impossible for every single one to like me, instead, I must focus on explaining myself and my beliefs to them, so they know what I represent. Their decision to support me or deny me makes no difference on how I feel about myself. 

My Views on life

The heart feels how the heart feels, the mind thinks how the mind wants to think, the body does what the mind tells it to do. When the mind and the heart are one, there is NO discrepancy between how you feel-what you want-what you do. It’s when people FIRST, don’t listen to their heart, and act solely based on their what their mind tells them to do, do we then become unhappy. 

So, listen to what your heart tells you, let your mind focus your beliefs into an idea, and make your body act out that dream into reality. 

The truth will set us free

Being honest with others lessens the burden of keeping a secret. It’s no wonder why kids have no problem saying what they think because they aren’t influenced by society’s standards for political correctness. By being real, it lessens the burden on you because you don’t have to hang out with people you don’t enjoy, you can just concentrate on being better friends with the people that you do enjoy. When there something on your mind, its necessary that you have the courage to bring it up, or else it will eat away at you and you can never be yourself around that person. Saying what’s on your mind will relieve you of that burden; thus, you can continue to be friends as you choose. You don’t have to be FRIENDS with everyone, or else, who would be your friend? You rate everyone you know on a scale, some are higher than others, and that’s done for a reason.

I hate people who laugh at those who are different. Who’s to say your better than ANYBODY? They might be different than you, but that doesn’t imply that they are any worse than you. Those who think like that need to get a fucken life and grow out of their high school selves. For me, I give everybody a chance to be my friend, if we don’t hit it off, I don’t write them off as people/future friends, it’s just that it doesn’t work out at this point in our lives. I hate talking shit about people behind their backs because it’s hurtful to the other person as well as yourself. Stop obsessing over being cool and saying the right things and just advertise yourself as is: the good and the bad. 

Dear Andrew and people,

Be appreciative of the things you have, the things you have gained, the people that have made you…you. Don’t always focus on what you don’t have because as long as you stay true to yourself, it’ll come in time. Bask in the love of your friends, the love of your family, and the love of God (whatever I conceive him to be). Tell someone you love them because you do… and it’ll make your day as well as theirs. Life is full of ups and downs, just enjoy it for what it is. Keep on livin’ J

Judgment

The thing I fear the most is judgment: from others, from my family, to my friends. But judgment is ingrained in human nature because that’s how we tell the difference between right and wrong. We know it is right to help another person out, and it is inherently wrong to rape a child. These two decisions are NOT the same; therefore, they have different values placed upon their doer. We all judge, we cannot deny that from ourselves, but what we differ in is the which QUALITIES we judge. Some people judge people for being “cool” or what I believe is just their version of society’s ideal image of man/woman. What I judge for is people being true to themselves. I judge people if they are willing to help others. I want my friends to be people who have the kindness to put themselves in the other person’s shoes and see if how they are being is right. I don’t give a shit how much u can drink, how fast you can run is cool (but in the end, does it really matter?). In the end, don’t fear judgment, instead, embrace that for the human quality that it is. It helps us filter out who we want in our lives, and makes us realize what is the ‘right’ decision to be made. 

The Person Within

Everyone has a list of personality traits that they deem positive; mine include: leadership, chillness (easygoing), funny, confidence. Everyone wants to HAVE these traits; people spend their lives developing these necessary skills in order to be the best ME they can be. People are willing to follow others who possess these traits and mimic their actions because they believe that by hanging out with these quality people, their positive traits can rub off on them. HOWEVER, in actuality, the only way to obtain the qualities that you truly desire is to FACE YOUR OWN INSECURITIES and work towards what you want in spite of the  fear of failing. Courage is what we need most, and it is within us all.

When Newton said that “for every action, there is an opposite reaction” he was talking about physics, which is the science of life. I believe that for every positive quality, there is an equally negative quality. Life, much like our personality, is based on a continuum, we either have more of the positive quality or more of the negative quality. Our goal in life is to put our best foot forward, and show ourselves (and the world) that positivity outweighs negativity. In order to do this, you have to be willing to accept. Accept your deficiencies, be at peace with what you wish was better, then… the healing will begin.

Living in this imperfect world we have damaged ourselves because we constantly allow the negativity of others to cloud our own thoughts. It’s much easier to tear someone down (because we see them to be better than ourselves) than to accept them for their own greatness, and still try to find my own greatness as well. We constantly want to be better than others but these inconclusive/misguided comparisons will only destroy us in the end. Instead, seek to find peace with others, and peace with yourself. Then you can share other’s happiness and bask in your own glories as well.

My brother shared with me this poem, and I want to share it with the world. Enjoy:

Desiderata

Max Ehrmann

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others,
even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Personality

It takes more courage to admit your faults, and to honestly work on them than it does to deny your insecurities and to fake like you know what you are doing. In any case, honesty is the best you can do. Be honest with yourself and be honest with others. However, never be hurtful to yourself and others because we can only perform to the best of our abilities. As long as we are making an effort to improve, that is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Tackle your deficiencies with the ferocity Ray Lewis exerts on RB’s. Life is a long journey, we all can improve in order to maximize our potential and get most out of our own life. Be the GREAT person that YOU ARE.

Leadership

Leaders the ones who stands up for what they believe in regardless of the consequences. Leaders are also the ones who need to shut the fuck up sometimes in order to get things rolling. If you believe you’re right, prove it. Don’t be so fucken chill all the time, people need to have opinions in order for others to respect them. If you don’t, you’ll just get walked all over. There comes a time when a man/woman needs to put their foot down and fight for what they believe in. Even if a person doesn’t agree in what your saying, as long as you speak with conviction and believe in what you’re saying, people will respect you for it. Don’t fear rejection, because that is inevitable in life. Instead, fear being small, in the sense that you believe what you actually think is worthless.  BECAUSE ITS NOT, we all have the RIGHT to be heard, so your opinion SHOULD be valued as much as the other person’s. If the other person doesn’t value your input then stay the fuck away from that person because that person doesn’t respect you or even people in general for that matter. Start speaking your mind, don’t give a fuck what other people say about your thoughts: keep thinking and keep spewing; that’s what is going to get you somewhere. But as I said earlier, sometimes leaders need to shut the fuck up, which is true, because the WORLD ISNT ALL ABOUT YOU. Sometimes you just gotta join the group, to keep shit rolling. As friends, we don’t run a dictatorship, it’s more like an oligarchy or senate, it can’t always be about you. Everyone should have equal say in the matter, and if one so chooses, he/she can rise up and voice their opinions when direction is needed. But then step back in line and let the other person rise if he does so choose. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in, but mind your boundaries.

Happiness

People seek happiness through many means, one of which is by surrounding themselves with people they deem happy. But doing so is like chasing a red herring because we must realize that happiness comes from within. Happiness is not a state of being rather it is a fleeting moment like everything else in life. Enjoy it while you can, but don’t seek it endlessly or else you will be constantly at the mercy of your surroundings. Instead, look for satisfaction: with yourself, with others, and with what you have accomplished. Put your life into perspective, you will be much happier and wiser beyond your years. I believe happiness is a choice, rather than a solution. People choose to be happy: people choose to look on the bright side of things, without hope, no one can be happy. But realize that when there is a yin, yang also accompanies it. But life and people live on a continuum, in doing so, one outweighs the other. In the case of hope and despair: it’s your choice which one you view as your guiding star. Know this, one will leave you content and the other will leave you feeling empty.

Life can only be what we make of it. If we are constantly dragged down by our own insecurities, our life will fall along with it. But if we embrace guiding principles of our lives, it will lift us off our feet into a world of exploration and wonder. Only you can choose the life for yourself. We only have one life, so make the most out of it. Impact others positively and the memory of your life will be everlasting. I wish you ALL the best, and may create your own destiny.

As we become smarter and smarter, we become less pig happy (ignorance is bliss). So as we age through this world, we should strive to be content, with ourselves and of others. 

My meaning of life

The things that I cherish most in life are the relationships that I have with people. Our relationship teaches me so much, much more than any school or college can give me. Although I truly believe that my relationship with my friend's is the greatest gift life can offer, the close bond is difficult to attain. This relationship must be built on honesty and mutual respect. When one party sees to it to benefit solely for themselves, they're being a fucken dick and selling the other person short. I want to be with people who help me; in turn, I will show them all the support they need. Friendship is a two-way street. It doesn't matter if one gives more than the other because we're all here to improve our lives; some need more help than others which is just a fact of life. If you've grasped life, take some time to help those in need. And those in need, listen to what others have to say, they're only trying to help you along your way. A good friend makes you better. So look for qualities that you WANT in yourself IN your friends. Because you are what your friends make you. Peer pressure is something that can never be underestimated, so choose wisely.

Relax, take a nice-long deep breath. Everything in the world will eventually work itself out. It always has, it always will. Some view that as a doing of a higher power, for me, that higher power is just life itself. It will toss you around, but in the end, it will bring you back around. The world keeps spinning even as our world goes haywire; that's because life goes on regardless. Find your inner peace and embrace who you are. LOVE WHO YOU ARE. YOU ARE YOU, and the world is better because of YOU. Everyone is worth-loving, and it all starts by loving yourself. I love you all.